Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Bubba's Breakdown

Bubba's half cheesesteak with everything, no "hots".

The problem with suburban living (or perhaps modern day life in general) is the plethora of crappy places to eat and a dearth of good places. Unfortunately today, I fell prey to the former.

Back in high school, oh some twenty-two years ago, I used to like Bubba's Breakaway in Towson. Back then it was cheesesteaks and pierogies. I hadn't eaten anything from Bubba's in at least twenty years and it's still there in the same nondescript brick building on York Road, with the very same sign that they had in high school. The difference then was that Bubba's was brand new and today's Bubba's looks exactly like the Bubba's from 1986.

Desperate for something different and perhaps a taste of nostalgia, I rang them up and ordered a half cheesesteak sub with all the toppings except for "hots." The "hots" being sweet hot peppers in pickling juice - never my favorite add on, and an order of fries to go with it.

Heavy rains passed through the area and finally, after an hour and twenty minute wait, the driver appeared with my bag of food in tow.

Sad to say that it would have been better had I left Bubba's to the nostalgia of memory.

The meat was the sliced beef you typically find - bland, rubbery and not very exciting. Topped with random vegetables, slathered with mayonnaise and completely engulfed in a enriched white sub bun. Nothing remarkable. Nothing tantalizing. Just crap piled upon crap. Simple, cheap food designed to satisfy the blandest of palates and fill tummies with nothing good for you. It was just bad.

Now, I'm no locavore nazi. I'll take bad for your body so long as it nourishes the soul. This sub was just bad. I felt pangs on the right side of my tummy as though my body was begging for me to stop.

So I did.

I couldn't finish it. Just couldn't. I was hungry and soldiered on through the first half but stopped in the second because it was just too horrible. At least the fries were decent enough (for frozen fries) but served with El Cheap Foodservice Distributor grade ketchup. A ketchup so thin and runny that it's not even worth the effort to cut open the packs and squeeze it out.

I need to stop subjecting myself to suburban sprawl...

Bubba's Breakaway
905 York Road
Towson, MD 21204

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