I've always been good about being able to separate things in my life. In many ways, I feel there's a need for me to always maintain a composed and confident outward appearance. No matter what may be bothering me personally, I've always tried to keep that hidden in the background.
And I think I'm starting to lose my poker face.
For weeks, people have asked me when we're opening project hampden. Now people ask me if I'm excited. They want to know that I'm excited. But I don't think that I am.
Perhaps more accurately, I can no longer tell if I'm excited. I know that having such a great crew of baristas is exciting to me and that we're going to be doing some truly progressive stuff, but everything else feels out of focus in my world, making it nearly impossible for me to get excited about opening.
When I was a child, I used to have nightmares about alien creatures. Last night I had a nightmare about binge eating McDonald's french fries as though it were live and in real time. My neck muscles are tense. I constantly feel like puking. My stress levels are at a all-time high and my heart feels like it's racing and about to explode.
I've always heard about stress killing people, and for the first time in my life, I can see how. If I drop dead soon, don't be surprised, I won't be.
Spro Hampden opens this Friday.